A Love Spell and Ritual for Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is not my favorite holiday, but the last couple of years I’ve been working with ways to invite the energy of love in a meaningful way without falling into the cheesy, cardboard-cupid-shooting-arrows-trap of the whole thing. Last year, I did a “Self-Love February,” in which every day included some gesture of kindness towards myself. This year, I am going to cast a spell.

For me, the best spells are always the spells I cast on myself. They help me clarify how I feel, what I want, and the support I need. On Valentine’s Day, I want to focus on true love: the energy of power, desire, courage, intuition, and deep emotion. This ritual invites that energy into our hearts while mindfully clearing whatever may stand in the way of that love.

You will need:

• A candle
• A cup of wine, juice, water, or some other favorite beverage
• A piece of paper and pen

In a safe, private, comfortable space, place the items in front of you. Light the candle, sit up tall, and close your eyes.

Step One: Cleansing

Focus on the candle flame with your eyes open or closed. Allow it to become bigger and brighter in your imagination, becoming like a bonfire offering the heat of passion, desire, courage, deep emotion, intuition, and powerful unconditional love.

Now begin to call up all those things within you that prevent you from accessing this love energy. This could be internal narratives about how you don’t deserve love or can’t handle your own emotions. Self-doubt. Fear. Discomfort with intimacy. Addictive patterns in relationships with people that hurt you. Past traumas that have left scar tissue on your heart.

Brush your hands over your body, collecting these obstacles and gently casting them into the fire. Do this as many times as you need to.

Step Two: Invite the Energy of Love

When you’re ready, place your hands onto the front of your pelvis. Breathe down low into your pelvis and genitals, and imagine a gateway opening to the earth below you. Invite the energy of life, joy, delight, pleasure, and playfulness to rise up through your core and into your heart. This is also the energy of emotion: True love can hold your sadness, grief, fear, and anything else that comes up with care and compassion.

Inhale this energy up to your heart, warming and soothing whatever you may be holding there. Exhale downward, into the earth below you, releasing whatever you do not need. Allow the energy to run up and down your body, following the rhythm of your breath.

Step Three: Promise

Now it’s time to make a promise. It might be something like “I promise to commit to my delight,” or “I promise to open myself only to lovers who see the depths of me,” or even “I promise to keep this energy for myself for right now.” Keep breathing and allow the promise to come up from your body, not from your mind. It’s not about what you think you should say, but what you really deeply desire for yourself around the power of true love.

As a gesture of commitment to this promise, take a sip of your beverage, which has been witnessing and absorbing the intentions of this spell.

Step Four: Close the Ritual

Thank the earth for supporting you in your practice. Thank the fire for showing you love. Thank yourself for opening to this energy of love.

Write down your promise on a piece of paper. Keep it with you and look at it often over the next month or so. Let it help you stay honest about what you really want from love. Blow out the candle, sit back, relax, and drink your beverage with pleasure!

You can also do this ritual as a guided meditation.

Want more? Read Julie’s “A Love Commitment for Valentine’s Day (With or Without a Partner).”