6 “What If’s” to Help You Thrive

I was treating myself to an espresso at my local café as I took in the sunshine and wrote in my notebook. A young woman seated next to me was observing me inquisitively, but I pretended not to notice. She appeared to be a college student from one of the two schools around the corner.

“Are you a writer?” she finally blurted out.

“Yes, I’m a writer. It’s part of my work as a holistic life coach. I write about the mind-body-spirit connection.”

Suddenly, she began to weep.

“Wow, I could really use your help! Can I ask you something?”

Of course, I told her yes. I love mentoring people, especially young people.

“I’m unhappy. I don’t seem to fit in anywhere and don’t know which direction to go in my life in order to be happy. I look at my social media and get more depressed. I’m sorry, I know this is a lot, but can you give me any advice?”

She got more than she bargained for. I shared some thoughts about conformity promoted by social media and society. Then I challenged her with six propositions and action steps to help her move forward and find an authentic direction in life.

Three months later, she emailed me to let me know that she followed through with the action steps religiously and was seeing positive results. I realized that this advice could be helpful to everyone, so I’m resharing it with you here today:

Each of us is born with a unique purpose of what we’re here to do, experience, and create. But our social conditioning programs us to believe that we’re supposed to follow a certain course in life in order to thrive. Conformity is encouraged from early on. Subtle messaging encourages children to fit into a box that is the spectrum of what society deems to be normal. Those who fall on the margin of or outside of this box are subject to labels that can haunt them for the remainder of their lives. The proliferation of social media exacerbates this situation.

Our purpose for being on this planet comes from within us rather than from our family, culture, or society. And if we don’t define what we really want out of this one short life experience and do what we need to do in order to materialize it, we will wind up not fully satisfied, surviving rather than thriving.

How can you honor your uniqueness? What if I told you that ...

... your most fulfilled life will come as a result of having the courage to do what your soul desires? You may initially have trouble identifying it. Commit to a daily meditation practice.

... your passions as a child weren’t just hobbies or phases, but your inner guidance directing you toward what you were born to express? Revisit your childhood passions, see if any of them still light you up, and explore those that do.

... each of you has come into this world with a numerology life path number that indicates what your true purpose for this lifetime is? There are 12 possible life path numbers calculated from your date of birth. (Life path number calculators and the meanings of each are available online.) In order to feel fulfilled, you need to express what you came here for. Familiarize yourself with your life path number.

... abundant psychological research has shown that you would get more bang from your personal growth buck and achieve greater well-being by focusing on using and developing your strengths rather than improving your weaknesses? Shift your attention to your gifts rather than your shortcomings.

... more isn’t always better? It can be an addiction. Become aware when you’re actually “good” just as you are. Practice presence and gratitude and consider minimizing or downsizing your life.

... you have the capacity to evolve and, as a result, every aspect of your life is subject to change at any time? Recognize the habits, structures, and people that no longer serve you, and let them go.

You can look to define or refine your direction at different points in your life regardless of age. The time to initiate a change is always now. Get to work!

Step into your most authentic life with these six profound steps.