The Magic of Slowing Down

Slow Mind

Holden explains that the present moment is the only moment in which we can actually experience happiness, and to fully arrive in the present moment, we must learn how to slow the thinking mind. “Mindfulness is the art of paying attention,” he says. “When we’re mindful, we are fully here right now, living our actual lives, not the one that exists solely in our head. Meditation is like a gym for our minds. It stretches its capacity to stay present without wandering and strengthens its ability to focus and concentrate.”

To help return our awareness to the present, Holden offers a meditation called “Where Am I?” It’s quick and easy, and I find it to be an especially helpful mindfulness anchor during times of transition: in the parking lot at the grocery store, sitting down for a meal, or before and after a phone call.

Holden offers this version as a perfect way to begin the day:

Lee Holden’s “Where Am I?” Morning Meditation

1. First thing in the morning, sit up in bed and take a few deep, slow belly breaths.
2. Quietly ask yourself, “Where am I?”
3. Respond aloud, “I am here.”
4. Sense and feel where “here” is. Notice the sounds in the room. Notice what surrounds you. Notice the sensations on the surface of your body.
5. Turn your attention inward. Feel the breath going in and out. Notice how the air passes through your windpipe to expand your chest and belly. Stay present with your breath.
6. Slowly repeat the question and answer “Where am I? I am here” while scanning your body from the top of your head down to your face, neck, and shoulders. Feel your entire body in the space you’re in. “I am here.”
7. When you’re ready, end your meditation with a big slow in-breath and a very slow out-breath through your nose. This practice will help you start your day with a newfound sense of mindful presence.

Slow Body

We can slow down our bodies in countless ways: while walking, eating, cleaning, or washing up. Each time we choose to move more slowly, we create an opportunity to relax, be mindful, and fully savor life instead of racing through it on autopilot. An especially powerful way to access the magic of slow is through the breath.

“Human beings take approximately 20,000 breaths each day, and these breaths can either accelerate stress or help you feel calm, resilient, and energized,” Holden explains. “Breathing quickly signals to the nervous system that there is imminent danger, which activates the fight-or-flight response, making us feel tight, tense, and overwhelmed. Conversely, breathing slowly signals that you are safe and there is nothing to fear.”

“Vagal Breathing: The Breath of Joy” is one of the practices in Ready, Set, Slow that I’ve enthusiastically embraced. As Holden explains, the vagus nerve—which extends from the brainstem through the neck, chest, and abdomen—plays a vital role in regulating the nervous system. “Deep, slow breathing stimulates this nerve, activating the parasympathetic nervous system, which soothes stress by shifting the body from a fight-or-flight state to a restorative ‘rest-and-digest’ mode,” he says.

This technique can be done at any time, but it’s particularly useful whenever you need help relaxing. “Many people choose to breathe this way at bedtime to wipe the energetic slate clean and fall asleep in a calmer, more contented fashion,” says Holden.

Lee Holden’s “Vagal Breathing: The Breath of Joy” Practice

1. Find a comfortable position sitting or lying down.
2. Place a hand on your belly so you can direct the breath there.
3. Breathe in for the count of four, feeling your diaphragm move your belly outward.
4. Hold your breath for the count of two.
5. Breathe out for the count of eight, feeling your belly deflate and relax back in.
6. Hold your breath after the exhale for a split-second before inhaling again.

Repeat this sequence for several minutes. Focus on your breath while inviting yourself to relax. (Note: If you feel dizzy, try inhaling for four seconds, holding for two seconds, and exhaling for four seconds).

Slow Relationships

The quality of our relationships profoundly shapes our lives. By slowing down, we become more attuned to our heart’s wisdom and guidance, fostering deeper connections and reducing conflict. Holden says, “Relationships are our playgrounds for expressing our love, and the best type of love is expressed slowly, with care and consciousness.”

Holden offers a practice called “Mindful Relating” that I find particularly powerful. It’s meant to be done in secret, because if the other person knows what you’re doing, they’ll likely become self-conscious and alter their behavior. “Whether with a partner, child, friend, or colleague, this exercise fosters true connection, leading to deeper interactions and stronger relationships,” explains Holden.

Lee Holden’s “Mindful Relating” Practice

1. Begin by truly seeing the person in front of you. Don’t just notice their presence; actually look at them.
2. Take in their clothing and notice their expression. Pay attention to the tone of their voice and their body language.
3. Be fully present, listening deeply as the other person speaks. Focus on understanding their words, rather than planning your response. Appreciate the other person as you witness them fully. Emanate kindness.
4. When appropriate and with consent, share a meaningful hug, allowing yourself to fully appreciate the warmth and connection. If a hug isn’t possible, a gentle touch on the hand or arm can also express care.

“Slowing down is the quickest way to relax and come back into balance in today’s fast-paced world,” Holden says. “By embracing the magic of slow, we create space for greater peace, joy, and well-being in every aspect of our lives. In a society that is constantly pushing us to move faster, choosing to slow down is a powerful step toward a happier, more fulfilling and harmonious life.”

Join Lee Holden for a free one-hour online event, “Discover the Magic of Slowing Down,” on April 5, 2025, hosted by Myra Goodman.

A pioneer in bringing the gifts of qi gong to Westerners, Lee Holden has certified over 2,000 qi gong teachers and makes qi gong easily accessible to everyone through his PBS shows and extensive online offerings, including a 30-day challenge of seven-minute routines and class subscriptions.