What’s a Self-Love Date, and Why Do You Need One?
Getty/mirina
Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for everything else in your life. A self-love date is more than just an indulgence—it’s an act of reclaiming your time, energy, and happiness.
The first time I went on a self-love date, I was nervous and anxious. This was before the convenience of smartphones, leaving me face-to-face with my discomfort.
At the time, I was really good at sweeping my emotions under the rug and hiding behind a beautiful smile. To the world, I was living my best life, but the reality was that I was struggling with severe insomnia, anxiety, and low self-esteem. My struggles forced me to look inward for solutions.
That’s when I admitted to myself that I needed help and looked for professional support. In my third session with my yoga therapist, she highlighted the importance of being kinder to myself and recommended reading the book The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. In her book, the author suggests going on a weekly solo date. When I read this, I was terrified and postponed for weeks.
Fast forward eight years, and these solo dates have become my favorite ritual for unlocking creativity, boosting self-worth, and promoting deep rest. I’m always recommending them to my friends and clients.
What’s a Self-Love Date?
A self-love date is an intentional act of self-care—a chance to prioritize your needs, reconnect with your essence, and nurture your relationship with yourself.
It might feel daunting to carve out time for yourself, especially if you’re used to putting others first, but even the smallest step toward self-love can be transformative.
It doesn’t have to be expensive or extra fancy; you can start with going on a quiet walk, journaling, or indulging in something you loved as a child. The goal is to combine the excitement of a date with someone else with the healthy challenge of getting yourself out of your comfort zone.
Before I give you some suggestions on how to get started, let’s talk about some of the benefits I have seen in myself and my clients.
Possible Benefits of a Self-Love Date
Activities like journaling and mindful walks have been proven to reduce anxiety and improve sleep quality. A self-love date can help strengthen your relationship with yourself, reminding you to honor your needs.
For me, a solo hike recharges my spirit and often leads to breakthroughs in my work.
When my clients start taking self-love dates, I can see their transformations immediately— their sleep quality improves, and they look vibrant, younger, and happier.
How to Get Started with Self-Love Dates
I began with activities I always wanted to try on my own but never prioritized, like going to the movies or exploring an art museum. Slowly, I learned to give myself the love I once sought from others—and it felt so good.
What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t made time for? Let that be your first self-love date idea.
Try this:
Set a five-minute timer and write all the ideas that come up. Allow yourself to dream and write them all down. It doesn’t matter if they don’t make sense now.
Circle the ones that seem easiest to begin with or that immediately spark joy.
Choose one activity and add it to your calendar.
Set a way to reward yourself. Yes, double joy!
During your self-love date, choose another activity from your list and get it on your calendar.
Rinse, upgrade, and repeat.
Examples of self-love dates to get started:
Take a walk in the park or plan a hike.
Dance in your kitchen while cooking dinner.
Watch a sunset or sunrise.
Read your favorite book in a cozy coffee shop or your backyard.
Write yourself a thank you letter and post it in the mail.
Explore a new restaurant in town or cook a new recipe at home.
Relax in a bubble bath, or treat yourself to a pedicure or massage.
Take a yoga or fitness class either online or in-person.
Creative ideas to keep you going:
Journal about what truly loving yourself means for you, then create a list of solo activities you would like to do in the future.
Go to the movies. (This is one of my favorite self-love dates!)
Stay for an hour at a bookstore or library browsing through the stacks, reading any book that catches your eye.
Take a painting class or watch how-to-draw videos online.
Attend a concert or listen to music at home with a glass of wine or cup of tea.
Take a day trip, either to a close or faraway city.
Pro tip: You can improvise if you’re dying to take a trip you don’t yet have the time or money for. For example, if you’d like to visit Italy, your date might include taking an Italian Duolingo course, making your favorite pasta, or watching an Italian movie.
Listen to your intuition, allow yourself to explore new self-love date ideas, and let the Universe surprise you!
Reminders for Self-Love Dates
That first awkward solo date was the beginning of a beautiful relationship with myself. Now, each date reminds me that I am worth the time, money, and effort.
Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for everything else in your life. A self-love date is more than just an indulgence—it’s an act of reclaiming your time, energy, and happiness.
Grab your calendar and pick a date—just one. Try it out and see how it feels to treat yourself with the love and respect you deserve.
Take this quiz to see where you are on your self-love journey.
Relationships
