Help for Anxious and Fearful Dogs

“I just want him to be a good dog!” the woman tells me, more than a hint of frustration in her voice. Over the past six months, she’s called me on multiple occasions, sharing challenges for this canine-human duo. It’s abundantly clear she loves her pup Cooper. What’s unclear is whether her expectations of goodness are perhaps too high, or if there’s something bothering this dog that needs to be addressed.

I understand. The dynamics between my husband, me, and our two feline roommates, Deacon and Bubba-ji, are notoriously complex. Cats and dogs don’t usually come with instruction manuals, and we animal lovers tend to figure it out as we go, trying to balance both human and pet needs and desires.

Luckily, Zazie Todd loves nothing better than helping people resolve issues with their pets. She’s written three useful handbooks for understanding the science behind dog and cat behavior. I picked up Bark! The Science of Helping Your Anxious, Fearful, or Reactive Dog to see what I could learn.

Sarah Bowen: Our society seems to value dogs we label as “good.” This, of course, is a judgment, and I notice that “good dogs” are ones who do whatever their person asks them to. I often wonder if this is fair to dogs. How would you define a good dog? Is obedience necessarily a requirement of goodness?

Zazie Todd: I think all dogs are good dogs. Many people define dogs as “good” if they are quiet, obedient, and do as we say, but dogs can be great companions even if they don’t have great manners! Many dog behaviors that people think are issues are not actually the dog misbehaving—they are a sign that the dog is struggling because they are fearful, anxious, or stressed. Once we realize that, we can do something to help the dog.

Of course, I think it’s a good idea to teach manners, and I’ve got some suggestions for the most important behaviors to teach dogs in the book (like coming when called—so important for safety, and for other people’s comfort too). But I don’t think “obedience” is a requirement of goodness. In fact, it’s up to us to recognize what our dogs need and provide it for them, and to train them to behave in ways that suit us. The idea that dogs’ happiness is more important than obedience was the central theme of my first book, Wag: The Science of Making Your Dog Happy.

If a dog companion doesn’t meet our expectations, humans can feel a range of emotions. You explore these within a framework of caregiver burden. What is that? And how does it influence fearful, anxious, or reactive dogs?

Having a dog who is anxious, fearful, or reactive can feel really hard, especially because, as a society, we tend to look at the dog-human relationship through rose-colored glasses. People can feel a wide range of negative emotions when their dog is fearful, including embarrassment if their dog is barking and lunging in public, guilt because they feel like they aren’t being a good dog guardian, upset that their dog is struggling, and so on.

Caregiver burden is the name that we give to the downsides of caring for a family member, and it applies to dogs too. It includes those negative emotions, but also, it can include financial impacts (such as the costs of vet visits and medications), the time taken to deal with these issues, and changes in routine. Caregiver burden can have a significant impact on people’s health and well-being. If someone is struggling with their dog’s behavior, they should seek help from a trainer who will only use kind, humane methods, and from their veterinarian or a veterinary behaviorist.

You suggest ways of allowing dogs to consent to activities, rather than forcing them to do things. Consent is a highly debated topic when it comes to animal ethics, with some people suggesting that animals cannot consent, and others (like me) believing that animals have the power to both consent and dissent. Why do you think consent is important when working with fearful dogs? What is a “consent test?”

It’s good for dogs if we give them choices when possible, and it helps to bring stress levels down. One very important way to give a dog some choice and control over their environment is to give them a safe space, somewhere like a dog bed or crate that they can choose to go to anytime they like, where they are never disturbed. Other choices include the choice of whether or not to be petted, and whether or not to take part in a training session. (It’s our job to motivate them!) A consent test is when you pause when you are petting your dog and wait to see if they lean in for more or walk away; either way, we have to respect that choice.

That seems so important when it comes to our canine companions as they age. I’m a big fan of activities that aren’t always high-energy, bouncy, or exertion-heavy, especially for older or chronically ill animals (or older people). And so, I was delighted to read your thoughts on what you call relaxation training. Any thoughts on meditation or spiritual practices with dogs?

Exercise and enrichment don’t have to be bouncy! Our dogs just like to spend time with us, and for many dogs, simply being quiet and relaxed together (whether the human is meditating or not) is their idea of a good time.

You advise “It’s the dog’s perception that counts.” So, while we might think that their fear of a person or an object doesn’t make sense, our opinion doesn’t really matter. To help relieve a dog’s fear or anxiety, you suggest we need to acknowledge their fear matters to them. Many people I work with seem to get bogged down in the why questions: Why does my dog bark incessantly when I reverse the car’s direction? Why does my dog hide when the doorbell rings? To answer these questions requires us to do quite a bit of guessing about a dog’s perceptions. Is that useful?

We often want to understand why, but it could be a range of factors, including genetics and early life experiences that are outside of our control, as well as lack of socialization, having bad experiences at any age, and sometimes medical issues such as pain. We don’t really need to understand why in order to help the dog, but if someone is struggling then it’s a good idea to get help from a dog trainer or animal behaviorist. For a sudden behavior change or a new fear in an older dog, see your veterinarian in case of medical issues.

If there is one thing you hope people take away from Bark! The Science of Helping Your Anxious, Fearful, or Reactive Dog, what do you hope it will be?

I hope people will realize that many times when they think their dog is misbehaving, in fact, the dog is struggling due to fear or anxiety, and that means they can devise a plan that involves helping the dog to feel safe while they work on resolving those fears. Sometimes that might be in consultation with their veterinarian. I wrote Bark! to give people the idea of hope, because, although we can’t fix everything, there is a lot that we can do to help anxious and fearful dogs (and their people).

Want more dog wisdom? Read “Dogs Demystified: A Handbook for All Things Canine.”