Bring on the Global Exorcism!

Have you heard of Aleksandr Gabyshev? Gabyshev is a Russian shaman who set out on a trek across Russia to defeat the evil that had taken over his country by exorcising what he takes to be the personification of that evil: Russian President Vladimir Putin. “In him,” Mr. Gabyshev told the New York Times, speaking of Putin, “there is much evil, and he himself embodies the powers of evil, so an exorcism must be done.”

The exorcism Gabyshev hopes to perform involves lighting a bonfire on Red Square in front of the Kremlin, feeding the fire with horsehair and fermented mare’s milk, banging on a leather drum, and praying that President Putin “come to his senses and quietly resign.” Sadly, the chances of this happening are very slim: Gabyshev was arrested by the Federal Security Service (previously the KGB) and faces internment in a Russian mental institution.

Though I remain neutral regarding the effect of such an exorcism, I, like Marianne Williamson and Aleksandr Gabyshev, believe there is a dark psychic force poisoning not only Russia and the United States, but the entire world. This may be, as my Swami tells me, the inevitable ripening of the Kali Yuga heralding the collapse of human civilization. If so, there is nothing we can do about it. But I am not ready to give up hope or abandon resistance. I stand with Aleksandr Gabyshev: we need a shamanic resistance movement and a global exorcism.

On October 21, 1967, Abbie Hoffman and Jerry Rubin gathered 100,000 Americans and encircled the Pentagon for a grand exorcism. The plan was to use an Aramaic chant to levitate the Pentagon 300 feet into the air, turn the building orange and shake out the evil that pervaded it. They applied for a permit and were forced to compromise: the government would allow the gathering but would limit the height of the levitation to 10 feet rather than the 300 Hoffman and Rubin requested. Sadly, the Pentagon didn’t levitate at all. Perhaps they used the wrong Aramaic chant, or perhaps they needed more than 100,000 chanters. It was, however, a worthwhile endeavor, and I would like to try something similar to counter the evil of our time.

My suggestion is this: First, we smuggle Aleksandr Gabyshev out of Russia and bring him to New York. Second, we set a date—Oct. 21, 2020 comes to mind—and invite one million spiritually inclined rascals to encircle the United Nations. Third, we assemble dozens of shamans from dozens of traditions to simultaneously perform their own exorcisms as part of that circle while the assemble million chants “All we are saying, is give peace a chance.” Fourth, we levitate the UN 10 feet, turn it orange, and purge the evil that is plaguing humanity.

There is only one problem with my plan: I’m an idea guy, not an organization guy. So, if you’d like this idea, let me know when you are implementing it and I will be there.

But are psychics worth it? More of Rabbi Rami’s writings here.