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Quality Space

Space is not just a physical phenomenon, it is an atmosphere that includes nonjudgmental attention, mutual respect, and appreciation.

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Illustration Credit: Untitled by Sarah Clement

Hunter and Gina have come to see me for relationship guidance. They’ve been together for nine years, have two children, and are admittedly stuck. They’ve driven here separately, meeting up after a busy day of work and family. This is their third visit, and although Gina seems fidgety and Hunter distracted, they both say they are glad to be back in my office. As I guide us through a short, heart-centered meditation to help them get present as to why they’ve come, tears start to stream from Gina’s eyes. When the meditation is complete, both of them are visibly more relaxed and are softly gazing at each other as Gina exclaims, “I don’t even know why I’m crying!” Hunter smiles empathetically.This is a common scene that I see with couples. There is something about having a dedicated space—in this case, my office—where sharing vulnerable truths and having them heard creates an atmosphere of intimacy. Whenever I first meet with couples, I always inquire about two key factors that affect long-term relating: How many hours a week do they devote to their relationship, and how much appreciation do they feel and ex …

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Relationship AdviceQuality Time

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