Top subscribe filter_none issues my account search apps login google-plus facebook instagram twitter pinterest youtube lock

4 Ways to Stop Shame in its Tracks

Shame sabotages our desire for emotional intimacy, says Brene Brown.

Heal
Everyone is going to experience feelings of shame, yet we can become more “shame resilient,” says researcher Brené Brown. She observed that some people have higher levels of what she calls shame resilience, and that this characteristic can lead to deeper connections with themselves and others. There were four traits that she found shame-resilient people had in common, and she shares them with us here:Know what shame is. “They talk about the feelings, they ask for what they need,” says Brown. “And they don’t call it embarrassment, they don’t call it guilt, they don’t call it self-esteem—they call it shame.”Understand what activates your feelings of shame. “For example, I can expect to be triggered as soon as I feel like I have disappointed someone or let them down,” she says. “I am going to hear a mental tape playing ‘You are not enough.’ Because I am expecting it, I can greet it and say, ‘I get it, but not this time.’ ”Practice critical awareness. Brown might, for example, ask herself, Is it really true that my worth hinges on making someone else happy?Reach out. “I might call a good friend and say …

Brené Brown, PhD, is a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work who has spent the past 10 years studying vulnerability, courage, authenticity, and shame. She is the author of best-sellers including Rising Strong: How the Ability to Reset Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead, from which this article was adapted. Rising Strong is now in paperback from Random House.


This entry is tagged with:
Brene BrownShameEmotional Intimacy

Enlightening, Empowering, Innovative, Inspiring… Don’t Miss a Word!

Become a subscriber, or find us at your local bookstore, newsstand, or grocer.

Find us on instagram @SpiritHealthMag

Instagram @SpiritHealthMag


1 (844) 375-3755
2018 Spirituality & Health MEDIA, LLC

Empowering Quotes from Enlightened Women

A free collection of wisdom from leaders in all facets of life.

"We don't see things as they are. We see things as we are."

- Anaïs Nin