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Bending the Golden Rule

Variations of the ancient protocol “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” have been shared and taught far and wide as the appropriate code of ethics for human behavior. The Parliament of the World’s Religions even made a Declaration Toward a Global Ethic and proclaimed the Golden Rule as the common principle for many religions. But does it work? In massage and loving touch, I like to be touched with firm, strong pressure. My husband, however, likes to be touched with feather-light fingertips, almost like a tickle. So putting the Golden rule to good use, we do unto each other what we want done to us — and it doesn’t work at all. If he touches me lightly and I touch him firmly, neither of us feels properly touched. Therein lies the problem with the Golden rule; we don’t all want to be treated the same way, physically or emotionally. Nor do we have a common threshold for what we allow others to “do unto” us. If a person feels undeserving of love and therefore is comfortable being treated horribly, he or she might allow others to mistreat him or her. Many people have damaged self-esteem …

Eve Hogan

Eve Eschner Hogan is a relationship specialist, and author of several books including The EROS Equation: A SOUL-ution for Relationships. In Real Love with Eve, she shares skills, principles, and tools for creating healthy, harmonious relationships—with friends, family, lovers, co-workers, and the world at large. Her uncommon approach to common sense will help you sail away from ego battles and into the calmer waters of real love. Learn more about Eve's Heart Path retreats at She is the author of Way of the Winding Path: A Map for the Labyrinth of Life.

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ReligionRelationshipsEve HoganEmotions

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