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How to Let Go of Relationship Baggage

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Most of us look back on our past relationships and see them as failures. We allow that belief to weigh us down, and it becomes the “baggage” we carry forward. We somehow think that a successful relationship is one that is lasting. What if we could switch from seeing our previous relationships as failures to seeing them as great adventures in learning and growing? What if we changed the definition of success from “lasting” to “learning”? What if we shift from baggage to gratitude?A while back, as I was updating my job résumé, I listed the skills that each position either utilized or enhanced. I thought about one of my favorite jobs — snorkel princess on a sightseeing boat on the Na pali Coast of Kauai — and the skills I had to develop in order to get the job, including free-diving to 20 feet, pulling in an anchor, and being in service to tourists. As I noted each job (waitress, boat crew, teacher, counselor, writer, speaker), I couldn’t help but remember who I was dating at the time and the quality of that relationship. I realized that each era of my life was defined not only by the job I held (or the co …

Eve Hogan

Eve Eschner Hogan is a relationship specialist, and author of several books including The EROS Equation: A SOUL-ution for Relationships. In Real Love with Eve, she shares skills, principles, and tools for creating healthy, harmonious relationships—with friends, family, lovers, co-workers, and the world at large. Her uncommon approach to common sense will help you sail away from ego battles and into the calmer waters of real love. Learn more about Eve's Heart Path retreats at sacredmauiretreats.com.


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