10 Spiritual Words to Use Daily

Words are powerful little troublemakers. With just a few syllables, they can spark love, start wars, or lead your dog to think she’s going for a walk. Despite knowing the power of our words, we often throw them around like confetti, forgetting their ability to build or break. As a writer, I think about words a lot, and I appreciate learning more about how they can help—or hinder—our daily life.

For example, consider this recent group text thread between me, my sister Amy, and my husband Sean:

Amy: “I ordered some little plug-in wall lights for when Mom visits for the holidays. Do you have one of those geriatric chairs for when she wants to take a shower?”

Me: “Very thoughtful of you, Sis! I’ll check when I get home about the chair.”

I went on about my day chaplaining at the hospital, my head filled with numerous other things, until I received what seemed like quite a shocking, and even disturbing, text from my husband: “There is a gigantic stool in the shower.” Not remembering the conversation about the shower chair, I confess I thought my cats had been up to no good and wondered if a call to the veterinarian was in order. A moment later, I erupted in laughter, noticing the text was in our group thread and that Sean was referring to the chair inquiry. I realized spell-check had changed “geriatric” to “gigantic.” I was amused by the multiple meanings of stool and how, in my hospital context, I was primed for one definition over another. I also wondered if “geriatric” was not the best word to use in this context.

Auspiciously, a few days later, a new book appeared in my mailbox: Ten Words: An Interspiritual Guide to Becoming Better People in a Better World. Author Lauryn Axelrod believes the world’s many faith and wisdom traditions can be distilled into just 10 words we can use as a guide for living into our potential. I reached out to ponder them with her.

Sarah Bowen: You suggest there are 10 words we should focus on to become “better people in a better world.” Why do we need to become better? And what does “better” mean?

Lauryn Axelrod: Japanese Zen monk and teacher Shunryu Suzuki once said, “You are perfect just as you are, and there’s always room for improvement.” I interpret it this way: You are completely worthy in this moment exactly as you are, and you are always in the process of becoming the next version of yourself. Who or what will you choose to become? I am willing to bet that most of us would choose to become happier, healthier, and more connected in a kinder, more supportive, and peaceful world. That’s all I mean by “better.” I am simply suggesting that in each moment, we can choose to become a little more like the people we want to be in a world we want to live in.

In the book, you reflect deeply on 10 words you think can help us become better people: attention, acceptance, authenticity, benevolence, balance, contemplation, creativity, collaboration, celebration, and care. Of these 10 words, is there one that is most foundational? Or do they all carry the same weight?

At the foundation of all 10 words is the first word: attention. Everything on our spiritual path requires our attention. You have to train yourself to pay attention, but where you put your attention is what matters. You bring your attention to each of the 10 words, and the more attentive you are, the more you will discover. As you practice these words, it becomes clear that they are all interconnected; they form a holistic path. For example, you begin to see that you can’t practice authenticity without acceptance, or care without benevolence. Each word informs the rest, and they all matter.

I remember that when I first entered spiritual leadership, people started acting a little odd around me when they would use a four-letter word in front of me. There was a lowering of the eyes, and an “Oh, sorry.” I would respond by saying, “Oh, that’s okay! I swear, too!” in order to not feel left out. I took some time to really think about why I loved certain swear words, and I realized that I often used them when I felt like my voice was being silenced or I was uncomfortable. They were a way of feeling powerful when I felt powerless. What’s your opinion on spicy words?

It always depends on context: Why are you using the words and what are you trying to say? The reason people often use “spicy” words is because they don’t have any other words to express the strong emotions they feel, like anger, fear, shock, or joy. At other times, swear words are used more like an exclamation point or for emphasis but aren’t always the most accurate or descriptive.

Sometimes, however, four-letter words speak volumes. A few years ago, a friend of mine, sadly, had a stroke. During the early phases, she lost the ability to speak except for two words: “F&*k!” and “Wow!” She spent hours looking around, wide-eyed in sheer amazement, repeating those two words in various tones and combinations. While some people were appalled, I thought it was perfect. What else could you really say when faced with indescribable awe; the terror and beauty and mystery of being alive? Except maybe, “Thank you.” Fortunately, that’s not a four-letter word.

I grew up with the Ten Commandments in my religious tradition, as many people did. And on the flip side, I also grew up with a late-night talk show host’s Top Ten Lists. We learn to count in tens. What is it about the number 10?

The Ten Commandments as we know them are a distillation and revision of some of the 613 commandments in Judaism and were canonized in the way we understand them when the Christian New Testament was written in Greek. They called them the Decalogue, or Ten Words, using the Greek mathematical system, which counts in multiples of deka, or 10. We Westerners inherited the Greek math system (as well as the Greek Bible and legal and educational systems), so 10 is a familiar number to us. That’s why I intentionally chose 10 words, not three or 108 or 613, which are also spiritually significant numbers.

But I also chose 10 words because they echo the purpose of the Ten Commandments. These 10 words aren’t those 10 words, but the reference suggests that they are similarly important foundational spiritual principles.

If I pushed you to add an eleventh word, what would it be?

I think the eleventh word would be dedication, which is also a word whose meaning is common to all spiritual traditions. It takes dedication to become better people in a better world, to hold to our spiritual path. It’s not easy. It’s not convenient. You will be challenged. You will be tempted to quit and take the easy way out. But dedication requires that you stick with it, even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.

Dedication includes concepts of discipline and devotion, which are also common spiritual principles but difficult words for many. We bristle at being disciplined or at the suggestion of unwavering devotion. However, without a certain degree of discipline in your practices and real devotion to your own growth, you won’t get very far on a spiritual path. The same is true for the 10 words: They have to become part of your daily routine. So, maybe the eleventh word could also be daily?

Want more pondering about words? Read “Faux Paws: Common Sayings Animal Lovers Should Avoid.”