The recent conversations about same-sex marriage have got me thinking. Someone on a talk show pointed out that the argument for “traditional marriages” was questionable, since marriage “traditions” of our not so distant past included a man’s obligation to marry his brother’s widow, arranged marriages for financial and political agreements, and a 60 percent divorce rate. It wasn’t until relatively recently that we married for love, and that doesn’t seem to be working out so well....

Dear Eve,

I’ve been in a few relationships, but I’m not sure if true love was ever part of the equation. I’m single now, and I’m feeling really isolated and alone. I just hate feeling like no one loves me. I just want to feel loved and I don’t know what to do. 

Aloha,

Here is the deal: Love is an inside job. It isn’t like someone actually hands us something we get to handle, hold and touch. Love isn’t something we have...

So often when Valentine’s Day is approaching, we all start looking for signs of love outside of ourselves—chocolate, cards, phone calls, flowers, gifts or other sweet sentiments. The sad truth is that even if there is love all around us, if we don’t love ourselves, we may not notice it—nor believe or trust what we see.

When we feel empty, we tend to suck the energy from others in a desperate attempt to be filled. The problem is that love from someone else cannot fill a void created...

The holidays—or as I like to call them, the holy-days—are upon us: a special season marked by traditions and time with loved ones. This is an especially beautiful time of year for doing some self-reflection, making resolutions, and re-dedicating ourselves to our relationships as we move into a brand new year. When considering where we are in our relationships, and how we'd like them to grow and deepen, we have a huge choice to make: whether to honor fear or faith. I like to say that “fear...

Having suffered several losses in my family over the years, I must admit that it has changed my view of gratitude. Before my mom and brother got sick and passed away, I might have offered thanks for the obvious (and usually external) things—like financial stability, friends and family, or perhaps my home, abilities, and opportunities. But watching my mom slowly lose one faculty after the next from ALS—first losing her speech then her strength in her legs, then in her hands, until she was...

A few years ago I became an adopted grandma and had a five year old living in my house for awhile. I have to admit that seeing the world through the eyes of a five year old is an excellent reminder to lighten up. She and my cats were clearly put in my life to remind me to play and have fun, no matter what I am doing. Yesterday while taking a walk with my granddaughter and her mother, we decided to jog. Thoughts began to run through my mind of how long it had been since I’d been jogging and...

While practicing self-observation recently, I noticed that my automatic impulse is to retract my energy when something uncomfortable or potentially emotionally painful is going on. When I feel like someone isn’t treating me the way I want them to, or when someone I care about is moody, I find myself automatically deploying the ego defense mechanism of contraction. Most of us do this as an instinctual response to discomfort or pain or conflict. The unconscious reasoning may sound something...

Dear Eve,

I’m only fourteen years old, but I need some help. I have been talking to a girl (also fourteen) on the Internet for two months. We have traded pictures and know for sure we love each other. The only thing stopping us from meeting is that we live so far apart. She recently moved to Hawaii; I live on the East Coast. Now, since we haven’t actually met, the distance is breaking up our relationship. She said she still loves me, but her parents won’t let her talk on the phone or...

Dear Eve, I’m trying to get a guy back. This is our "short" history (my mistakes are numbered): I ended a two-year, depressing relationship, and I was on the rebound, not ready for anything serious. A week later, I went out with a guy I met. [1] We had sex on the second date (it was a great date). [2] I hung around his place for three days. Then he left for three weeks, and asked me not to sleep with anybody else in the interim. [3] I agreed, but freaked out a little because he wanted...